Monthly Archives: May 2014


Let’s Play Ball

The pain is relentless today. Although the intensity remains in the moderate range, my mind won’t allow me to compartmentalize it this morning. Frankie, my Boston Terrier, who is attuned to my inner battles, just brought me his ball; as if to say, “come on let’s play!” Tears threatened. This past week has been challenging; I have been able to function and keep my mask of cheer in place but I feel it slipping away this morning.

Having chronic pain from long-standing rheumatoid arthritis has stripped me bare many times over the past years. It’s easy to fall back into old patterns and question myself. What did I do wrong? Am I worthless and just a burden to those I love? It seems overnight that my hands transformed — unrecognizable, crooked, misaligned, and ugly.

When I fall into self-pity I have found journaling to be a great comfort. When chronic disease pain hits with brute force, it isn’t a choice but it’s within our control to wallow in self-pity or take another action. Having been here many times before, I know what I need to do. Tears can be healing but I’m done for today. It’s time to nurture the mind, body and spirit. We have power in our lives. It’s time to take positive action. I best go find Frankie’s ball and let that inner child of mine out to play.



A Force To Be Reckoned With

I am calm and peaceful…well and happy…strong and powerful.

Words of affirmation, each morning and often throughout the day, I draw upon these words. Each day, as you know we have a choice to experience a world of peace or agony. So very powerful to know that chaos, pain, and confusion may interrupt your day but how you deal with these powerful interruptions is your choice.

All behavior is a choice. Many years ago, I read the life story of Jeremiah Denton, one of the longest prisoners of war during the Vietnam War, he said, when you’re broken don’t despair, bounce back as soon as you can to the hardline.  Yes, there are times we despair but we have within us the power to choose a different course — that of hope and gratitude.

I have identified often in the past with prisoners of war, trapped in bodies that choose to torture, seemingly upon a whim often without warning; plans are destroyed, dreams are shattered, and hope compromised but only temporarily. As night passes into day, this too shall pass away. For hope remains steadfast — it is your choice.