Self-pity is, indeed, paralyzing at times. In my life, it has been mostly about health issues. Pains, joint destruction leading to disfigurement, limited physical abilities and strength, and fatigue have haunted my young adulthood.
Circumstances can overwhelm us and health issues can affect the entire family, relationships, and career goals and choices. All of us have times in our life of sadness that can lead to self-pity. We must learn not to let this control us. Even when we have limited choices in what we can do, we have control over what we think. This is a tremendous concept. Spending hours in sadness wondering why; reviewing old hurtful memories, looking at life as the world does; can zap the joy out of you and play havoc with those you love.
There is much we can do — make a list (call a high school friend, write a relative, go outside, picnic, swim, watch a funny movie, take pictures, etc.). We all want to feel a sense of belonging and to be loved. Reach out to others and they will be more likely to reach for you.