I have a poster framed over my fireplace with a verse from Psalms 91 and the background is of a bird in its home.
If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. Psalms 91:9
When Craig and I moved to our new home after medical complications five years ago, we walked throughout the empty house, praying for God’s peace, joy, and comfort. I feel God’s presence daily and I have been working on a website for people in chronic disease pain. It’s an educational site for the body, mind, and spirit teaching patients and caregivers empowerment skills in a community setting.
This is a long way to say in 2014, I began having night terrors. I was praying daily and concentrating on the New Testament. During this time, I was asking God’s will for a ministry my friends and I were calling Hope Springs. Specifically, I was praying for God to “rally a league of angels” to help intervene and provide comfort to those in pain.
The night terrors occurred almost every night and I would wake up screaming. I would kind of remember the terror, black shadows moving on the walls and dark bugs crawling across the bed. The amazing part was I was never scared, fear never entered my consciousness, typically I would fall back to sleep. For a long time, my husband and dog Frankie would rush to check on me. Overtime, they learned to ignore the screams because they knew I was fine. But if I visited others overnight, I would try to warn them and often I would be questioned the next day asking if I remembered screaming or I would find them standing by my bed to wake me.
This went on for months without my seeking help. But last winter I sought counsel from the spiritual leader of my Bible study class. Crying and telling of what I believed was my divine purpose to share the spiritual healing of our father and Creator, I told her of my night terrors and how disturbing they were to me and those around me. She listened and then asked about my focus on angels. By promoting my own answer, had I left the door open to ambiguity, i.e. good and dark forces?
Together we prayed and thanked God for His purpose in my life, and asked for his divine intervention to stop the nightmares that seemed to hover in the twilight. Knowing our will may not be that of our Father, I sought forgiveness for possibly requesting a specific solution – my league of angels – rather than seeking His. Should we ever rely on our limited understanding or trust in God’s infinite knowledge?
When your purpose for life is revealed, I am learning it can be something much more than you could ever have imagined. If you’re wondering, yes the terrors stopped that night and my husband says it’s extremely rare for me to have one now.
HopeSpringsVillage.org is live and on the web. Those in pain are visiting to learn new techniques and skills for coping with chronic disease pain and we have already had sponsorship inquires. Life is joyful through God’s grace as I eagerly await where this divine journey takes me! Thank you Father.
-And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
-For this purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you. Romans 9:17
-For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18
I believe in Our Creator, as a teenager I read my Bible daily and had posters and scripture journals. At age 28, I stopped going to church, divorced, survived two painful rheumatoid arthritis flares with physical and emotional losses, and went on and then off Social Security Disability twice. By 40, I was remarried, worked full-time and completed my PhD all while on multiple medications and adding low-dose chemo therapy. At 54, after a heart episode requiring five stents and more medications, I retired from the National Institutes of Health (a vastly rewarding career) in Bethesda, Maryland. We moved back home to Alabama to be near family and long term friends. My husband’s ALS continues to progress but he is a miracle in that he appears to be one of less than 1% surviving 19 years with the disease.
The journey continues, the ministry is just beginning, and my relationship with our Father brings beauty and light to my life and, I pray, to others. Hope indeed springs eternal.